PREDICTIONS: Week 3 v Detroit

1: Marquez Manuel will be beat for 3 TDs today.

2: Ahman Green will have two fumbles in limited action.

3: Kevin Jones will have three fumbles. And 2,5 per carry.

4: Ahmad "Flagboy" Carroll will be penalized 5 times.

5: Morency will play, and look good. He will have 3.5 per carry, for 80 yards, filling in for Green.

6: Scott Wells will hold up against Shaun Rodgers.

7: Favre will be intercepted twice.

8: Packers recievers will drop more than five passes this week. TEs will be involved.

9: McCarthy will abandon the run.

10: McCarthy will focus on "explosive plays" on offense, rather than moving the chains. He will also claim to be running the "West Coast Offense." His excuse will be that he was attacking the rookie safety starting for Detroit today.

11: Mike Furrey will have a shot at a winning TD deep down the middle due to a blown coverage by Marquand Manuel, but Kitna won't be able to throw the ball far enough.

12: The Packers will play well on defense, "except for explosive plays."

13: Koren Robinson will look good. He will have 100 yards recieving. He'll take a kick return to the house.

14: Jennings will have 2 catches for less than 5 yards.

15: Driver will catch three balls while leaping high into the air. He will also have a TD.

16: Bubba Franks will have 3 drops and 2 fumbles. David Martin will be out with a strained vagina. Donald Lee will catch two passes deep down the middle.

17: The Packers will totally suck shit on third downs. They will repeatedly put themselves in "third and long" situations. And usually hand off to Green on a draw play in those situations.

18: Kitna is due for some INTs. They will be to Nick Collins, Al Harris and AJ Hawk. Kitna will be sacked 6 times today.

19: Rayner will miss two FGs. Ryan will shank one, but still average over 60 yards, with less than 2 seconds of hang time.

20: Packers will win a semi-close game. Detroit fans will tweak and start chanting FIRE MILLEN! They will refuse to leave the stadium for an hour after the game. Security will kick people out for holding up FIRE MILLEN signs.

21: Poppinga will struggle in pass coverage, but will show signs of improvement.

22: The Packers will go deep to Ruvell Martin twice, without completing either pass.

23: The game will hinge on mistakes, with both teams making plenty. The Packers will finally win at Detroit, but it won't be because they dominated field position, time of possession, were decent on third downs, or played mistake free football.

24: Detroit will be penalized more than Green Bay.

25: The Packers will still suck shit in cut blocking on the backside. They'll develop at it, but later in the year.